Every year that goes by the continuing questions: What is my life going to be like in ten years? Am I going to make a difference in the world? Do I want to get married? Do I want kids? Do I want to still be living in a foreign country? What job will allow me to be independent and stable? Am I doing enough work and planning now for the future? Swelling inside of me is anxiety and chaos of emotions. As a twenty-nothing life still seems so grand that not knowing exactly what to do is overwhelming. How do I help myself…living in the here and now?
From my recent experience the here and now takes away the vulnerability and unknown of the future. It allows one to take hold of that moment to its core. Its comforting and can be controlled. Its something that is there and gone before you can fully understand its value. There is no questioning or analyzing it. It is what it is. It either feels good or bad. You can change the next moment but beyond the now, everything else is irrelevant. These things all sound nice to a worrisome person like me. Sounds like a good plan, except...Do you lose perspective only living in the here and now? Do you lose sight of change that is happening all around due to the unwanted sight of the big picture? Can you change accordingly if you are only living by the here and now? Do you misjudge opportunities that seem pointless in that moment? Do you abuse relationships due to the lack of understanding where you are headed in life? From my experience, I believe so.
I personally struggle with the question what am I suppose to do with my life. I am a worrier by nature only because I want to make the most of this life. I want to get it right. But such as life, nothing is right or wrong. I need to learn to not just live in the future, but dare I say live a little more in the here in now. Let go of the unforeseen problems and plan according to my instinct, passion and love. I see the here and now is not the silver bullet that I seek but rather a middle ground to make life a little more enjoyable and simply not so serious. Finding this balance will be the challenge. Let's meet halfway.